Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of October, 2012

A distinguished professor from Swarthmore Got along with a sexy...
A distinguished professor from Swarthmore Got along with a sexy young sophomore. As quick as a glance He stripped off his pants, But he found that the sophomore'd got off more.

When you and I are far apart Can sorrow break your tender...
When you and I are far apart Can sorrow break your tender heart? I love you darling, yes I do; Sleep is so sweet when I dream of you; All you are is a blossoming rose. Night is here so I must close. With care read the first word of each line. You will...

Get GUMMed --- ------ The Gurus of Unix...
Get GUMMed --- ------ The Gurus of Unix Meeting of Minds (GUMM) takes place Wednesday, April 1, 2076 (check THAT in your perpetual calendar program), 14 feet above the ground directly in front of the Milpitas Gumps. Members will...

If God had not given us sticky tape, it would have been...
If God had not given us sticky tape, it would have been necessary to invent it.

A good reputation is more valuable than money...
A good reputation is more valuable than money. -- Publilius Syrus

Human kind cannot bear very much reality. --...
Human kind cannot bear very much reality. -- T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets: Burnt Norton"

Humorists always sit at the children's table...
Humorists always sit at the children's table. -- Woody Allen

I am just a nice, clean-cut Mongolian boy. --...
I am just a nice, clean-cut Mongolian boy. -- Yul Brynner, 1956

Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.
Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.

Old mail has arrived.
Old mail has arrived.