Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of August, 2013

To communicate is the beginning of understanding...
To communicate is the beginning of understanding. -- AT&T

An architect's first work is apt to be spare and clean...
An architect's first work is apt to be spare and clean. He knows he doesn't know what he's doing, so he does it carefully and with great restraint. As he designs the first work, frill after frill and embellishment after embellishment occur...

DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive...
DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?! Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system? You can! Just mail to "fortune" with the fortune you hate most, and we MIGHT make sure it gets expunged.

Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.
Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.

Everything you've learned in school as "obvious"...
Everything you've learned in school as "obvious" becomes less and less obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no solids in the universe. There's not even a suggestion of a solid. There are no absolute continuums...

Festivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with...
Festivity Level 1: Your guests are chatting amiably with each other, admiring your Christmas-tree ornaments, singing carols around the upright piano, sipping at their drinks and nibbling hors d'oeuvres. Festivity Level 2: Your guests are talking...

If you eat a live frog in the morning, nothing worse will...
If you eat a live frog in the morning, nothing worse will happen to either of you for the rest of the day.

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at...
If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. -- Dorothy Parker

A young man enters the New York branch of Tiffany's on a Friday...
A young man enters the New York branch of Tiffany's on a Friday evening and walks up to a display case full of pearl necklaces. He turns to a gorgeous woman, who is obviously windowshopping, looks her straight in the eye and says, "I can tell...

At least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on...
At least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand. -- J.B. White