Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday December 9, 2014

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views...
There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views on marriage. He sucked off his brother, Fucked his own mother, And gobbled his sister's miscarriage.

There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long...
There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, While wiping his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There's a very hot babe at the Aggies Who's to men what...
There's a very hot babe at the Aggies Who's to men what to bulls a red rag is. The seniors go round Hanging down to the ground, And one extra-large Soph has to drag his.

Five people -- an Englishman, Russian, American, Frenchman...
Five people -- an Englishman, Russian, American, Frenchman and Irishman were each asked to write a book on elephants. Some amount of time later they had all completed their respective books. The Englishman's book was entitled "The Elephant --...

Have you seen the latest Japanese camera? Apparently it is...
Have you seen the latest Japanese camera? Apparently it is so fast it can photograph an American with his mouth shut!

Hear about the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up...
Hear about the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up a bus? Burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.