Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday April 8, 2014

If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed...
If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world. -- R. Schaeberle, "Management Accounting"

There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views...
There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views on marriage. He sucked off his brother, Fucked his own mother, And gobbled his sister's miscarriage.

There once was a young man named Lancelot Whom the townsfolk...
There once was a young man named Lancelot Whom the townsfolk would look at askance a lot For when he should pass A desirable lass The front of his pants would advance a lot.

There was a young fellow from Kent Whose cock was so long that...
There was a young fellow from Kent Whose cock was so long that it bent To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was...
There was a young fellow named Sweeney, Whose girl was a terrible meanie, The hatch of her snatch, Had a catch that would latch, She could only be screwed by Houdini.