Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of November, 2015

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants, I come before you to stand behind you To tell you of something I know nothing about. Next Thursday (which is good Friday), There will be a convention held in the Women's...

"A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives."
"A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives."

"Our vision is to speed up time, eventually eliminating...
"Our vision is to speed up time, eventually eliminating it." -- Alex Schure

Garbage In -- Gospel Out.
Garbage In -- Gospel Out.

HELP! MY TYPEWRITER IS BROKEN! -- E. E...
HELP! MY TYPEWRITER IS BROKEN! -- E. E. CUMMINGS

Mitchell's Law of Committees: Any simple problem can...
Mitchell's Law of Committees: Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are held to discuss it.

The scum also rises. -- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
The scum also rises. -- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson