Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday November 23, 2017

Probably the question asked most often is: Do one-celled...
Probably the question asked most often is: Do one-celled animals have orgasms? The answer is yes, they have orgasms almost constantly, which is why they don't mind living in pools of warm slime. -- Dave Barry, "Sex and the Single...

There was a young cook with the art Of making a delicious tart ...
There was a young cook with the art Of making a delicious tart With a handful of shit, Some snot and some spit, And he'd flavor the whole with a fart.

There was a young fellow named Bill, Who took an atomic pill, ...
There was a young fellow named Bill, Who took an atomic pill, His navel corroded, His asshole exploded, And they found his nuts in Brazil.

Two men looked out from the prison bars, One saw mud-- ...
Two men looked out from the prison bars, One saw mud-- The other saw stars. Now let me get this right: two prisoners are looking out the window. While one of them was looking at all the mud -- the other one got hit in the head.

UH-OH!! I put on "GREAT HEAD-ON TRAIN COLLISIONS of...
UH-OH!! I put on "GREAT HEAD-ON TRAIN COLLISIONS of the 50's" by mistake!!!