Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday May 16, 2017

There was a young fellow named dick Who had a magnificent...
There was a young fellow named dick Who had a magnificent prick. It was shaped like a prism And shot so much gism It made every cocksucker sick.

There was a young man from Rangoon Who used to lament 'neath...
There was a young man from Rangoon Who used to lament 'neath the moon That he had the luck To be born of a fuck That was scraped off the sheets with a spoon.

There was a young man in Norway, Tried to jerk himself off in...
There was a young man in Norway, Tried to jerk himself off in a sleigh, But the air was so frigid It froze his cock rigid, And all he could come was frappe.

There was a young man in the choir Whose penis rose higher...
There was a young man in the choir Whose penis rose higher and higher, Till it reached such a height It was quite out of sight -- But of course you know I'm a liar.

If you push the "extra ice" button on the soft drink...
If you push the "extra ice" button on the soft drink vending machine, you won't get any ice. If you push the "no ice" button, you'll get ice, but no cup.

The boy stood on the burning deck, Eating peanuts by...
The boy stood on the burning deck, Eating peanuts by the peck. His father called him, but he could not go, For he loved those peanuts so.