Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday September 2, 2017

All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American...
All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American are spent by the government in less than a second. -- Jim Fiebig

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend...
Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.

MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed
MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed

Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed...
Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference.

There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to...
There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire. She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

There was a young lady named Banker, Who slept while the ship...
There was a young lady named Banker, Who slept while the ship lay at anchor, She woke in dismay, When she heard the mate say, "Now hoist up the topsheet and spanker."

Here we are in America ... when do we collect unemployment?
Here we are in America ... when do we collect unemployment?

Hiccuping & trembling into the WASTE DUMPS of New Jersey...
Hiccuping & trembling into the WASTE DUMPS of New Jersey like some drunken CABBAGE PATCH DOLL, coughing in line at FIORUCCI'S!!