Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday September 5, 2017

There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to...
There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire. She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?"

There was a young girl of Pitlochry Who was had by a man in...
There was a young girl of Pitlochry Who was had by a man in a rockery. She said, "Oh! You've come All over my bum; This isn't a fuck -- it's a mockery."

There was a young woman of Croft Who played with herself in...
There was a young woman of Croft Who played with herself in a loft, Having reasoned that candles Could never cause scandals, Besides which they did not go soft. Said another young woman of Croft, Amusing herself in the loft, ...

Don't make a big deal out of everything; just deal with...
Don't make a big deal out of everything; just deal with everything.

If you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often...
If you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.

Life is a grand adventure -- or it is nothing...
Life is a grand adventure -- or it is nothing. -- Helen Keller

Life is knowing how far to go without crossing the line.
Life is knowing how far to go without crossing the line.

Life is the urge to ecstasy.
Life is the urge to ecstasy.

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all...
Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all. -- Thomas J. Kopp