Humor: November 2018 - Best of Fortunes Motd - Message of the Day
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Nov 15, 2018
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Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of November, 2018


There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

While travelling in farthest Tibet, Lord Irongate found cause...
While travelling in farthest Tibet, Lord Irongate found cause to regret The buttered-up tea, A pain in his knee, And the frivolous tourists he met. -- Edward Gorey

Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for large...
Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for large values of 2.

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning...
Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. -- Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"

Dear Miss Manners: Please list some tactful ways...
Dear Miss Manners: Please list some tactful ways of removing a man's saliva from your face. Gentle Reader: Please list some decent ways of acquiring a man's saliva on your face ...

A rope lying over the top of a fence is the same length on each...
A rope lying over the top of a fence is the same length on each side. It weighs one third of a pound per foot. On one end hangs a monkey holding a banana, and on the other end a weight equal to the weight of the monkey. The banana weighs two ounces...

Know how to save 5 drowning lawyers? -- No? GOOD!
Know how to save 5 drowning lawyers? -- No? GOOD!

LIKE: When being alive at the same time is a wonderful...
LIKE: When being alive at the same time is a wonderful coincidence.

LISP: To call a spade a thpade.
LISP: To call a spade a thpade.

Long computations which yield zero are probably all for naught.
Long computations which yield zero are probably all for naught.
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