Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday February 16, 2018

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

An agreeable girl named Miss Doves Likes to jack off the young...
An agreeable girl named Miss Doves Likes to jack off the young men she loves. She will use her bare fist If the fellows insist But she really prefers to wear gloves.

The limerick is furtive and mean; You must keep her in close...
The limerick is furtive and mean; You must keep her in close quarantine, Or she sneaks to the slums And promptly becomes Disorderly, drunk, and obscene. -- Morris Bishop

The old archeologist, Throstle, Discovered a marvelous fossil...
The old archeologist, Throstle, Discovered a marvelous fossil. He knew from its bend And the knot on the end, T'was the penis of Paul the Apostle.

There a young man from the Coast Who had an affair with...
There a young man from the Coast Who had an affair with a ghost. At the height of orgasm Said the pallid phantasm, "I think I can feel it -- almost!"

There once was a boy named Carruthers Who was busily fucking...
There once was a boy named Carruthers Who was busily fucking his mother "I know it's a sin," He said, shoving it in, "But it's better than blowing my brother."

There once was a clergyman's daughter Who detested the pony...
There once was a clergyman's daughter Who detested the pony he bought her, Till she found that its dong Was as hard and as long As the prayers her father had taught her. She married a fellow named Tony Who soon found her fucking...

There once was a couple named Kelley, Who lived their life...
There once was a couple named Kelley, Who lived their life belly to belly. Because in their haste They used library paste, Instead of petroleum jelly.

There was an old pirate named Bates Who was learning to rhumba...
There was an old pirate named Bates Who was learning to rhumba on skates He fell on his cutlass Which rendered him nutless And practically useless on dates.

There's an oversexed lady named Whyte Who insists on a dozen...
There's an oversexed lady named Whyte Who insists on a dozen a night. A fellow named Cheddar Had the brashness to wed her- His chance of survival is slight.

While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on...
While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

Winter is here with his grouch, The time when you sneeze...
Winter is here with his grouch, The time when you sneeze and you slouch. You can't take your women Canoein' or swimmin', But a lot can be done on a couch.

You Women's Lib gals won't agree, But dependent on men you must...
You Women's Lib gals won't agree, But dependent on men you must be: You'll need a him With a rod firm and trim, To puggle your water-drains free!