Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday May 11, 2018

"Here at the Phone Company, we serve all kinds of people;...
"Here at the Phone Company, we serve all kinds of people; from Presidents and Kings to the scum of the earth ..."

"I can resist anything but temptation."
"I can resist anything but temptation."

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly...
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind...
Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

I'm a Lisp variable -- bind me!
I'm a Lisp variable -- bind me!