Humor: March 2019 - Best of Fortunes Motd - Message of the Day
Humor, Quotes, Proverbs, Aphorisms... Ji Funda Jo Hai  
Daily Fortunes Feed Subscribe - Daily Fortunes - motd.ambians.com
Daily fortunes for your site
Mar 23, 2019
Motd Home     Daily Fortunes     Best of Fortunes     Worst of Fortunes

Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of March, 2019


There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

Oh give me your pity! I'm on a committee, ...
Oh give me your pity! I'm on a committee, We attend and amend Which means that from morning And contend and defend to night, Without a conclusion in sight. We confer and concur, We defer...

The Road goes ever on and on Down from the door where...
The Road goes ever on and on Down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the Road has gone, And I must follow, if I can, Pursuing it with eager feet, Until it joins some larger way Where many paths and errands meet. And whither then? I cannot say...

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive...
DELETE A FORTUNE! Don't some of these fortunes just drive you nuts?! Wouldn't you like to see some of them deleted from the system? You can! Just mail to "fortune" with the fortune you hate most, and we MIGHT make sure it gets expunged.

Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.
Don't look back, the lemmings are gaining on you.

If you want to understand your government, don't begin...
If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft. Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all...

Penn's aunts made great apple pies at low prices. No one else...
Penn's aunts made great apple pies at low prices. No one else in town could compete with the pie rates of Penn's aunts. During the American Revolution, a Britisher tried to raid a farm. He stumbled across a rock on the ground and fell,...

A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine...
A clever young man named Eugene Invented a jack-off machine. On the twenty-third stroke The fuckin' thing broke And beat both his balls to a creame.
Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of March, 2019
JanFebMarAprMayJunJulAugSepOctNovDec
12345678910111213141516171819202122232425262728293031
All Time Best  |  Year's Best  |  Month's Best  |  Today's Best
Best of Fortunes Worst of Fortunes
20192018201720162015
20142013201220112008
200720062005  
20192018201720162015
20142013201220112008
200720062005  
Search [help]

About  |  Contact Us  |  Terms of Use  |  Privacy & Disclosure
FreeBsd Quotes  |  Linux Quotes