Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of June, 2019

There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town...
There once was a young man from Boston Who drove around town in an Austin, There was room for his ass, And a gallon of gas, So he hung out his balls and he lost 'em.

There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years...
There once was a young man from France Who waited ten years for his chance; Then he muffed it...

There was a gay dog from Ontario Who fancied himself...
There was a gay dog from Ontario Who fancied himself a Lothario. At a wench's glance He'd snatch off his pants And make for her Mons Venerio.

There was a lewd fellow named Duff Who loved to dive deep...
There was a lewd fellow named Duff Who loved to dive deep in the muff. With his head in a whirl He said, "Spread it, Pearl; I cunt get enough of the stuff!"

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend:...
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend: and inside a dog, it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx

A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply,...
A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply, and subtract. But this output can be No more than debris, If the input was short of exact. -- Gigo

A dozen, a gross, and a score, Plus three times the square root...
A dozen, a gross, and a score, Plus three times the square root of four, Divided by seven, Plus five times eleven, Equals nine squared plus zero, no more.

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the...
Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.

Conway's Law: In any organization there will always...
Conway's Law: In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.