Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of September, 2020

"Twas bergen and the eirie road Did mahwah into patterson:...
"Twas bergen and the eirie road Did mahwah into patterson: "Beware the Hopatcong, my son! All jersey were the ocean groves, The teeth that bite, the nails And the red bank bayonne. that claw! ...

A mathematician named Hall Has a hexahedronical ball, ...
A mathematician named Hall Has a hexahedronical ball, And the cube of its weight Times his pecker's, plus eight Is his phone number -- give him a call...

There once was a fellow named Potts Who was prone to having...
There once was a fellow named Potts Who was prone to having the trots But his humble abode Was without a commode So his carpet was covered with spots.

There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different...
There was a young man of Devizes Whose balls were of different sizes. His tool when at ease, Hung down to his knees, Oh, what must it be when it rises!

Q: Why did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers? A: ...
Q: Why did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers? A: Because he was hungry.

"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor...
"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception." -- The mayor of Tucson, Arizona, 1989

"The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes...
"The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a bit longer." -- Henry Kissinger

"What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING...
"What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING of a bank?" -- Bertold Brecht

43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr fortune:...
43rd Law of Computing: Anything that can go wr fortune: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...