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Daily Fortunes

Oct 10, 2020

Hors d'oeuvres -- a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces...
Hors d'oeuvres -- a ham sandwich cut into forty pieces. -- Jack Benny

"How did you spend the weekend?" asked...
"How did you spend the weekend?" asked the pretty brunette secretary of her blonde companion. "Fishing through the ice," she replied. "Fishing through the ice? Whatever for?" "Olives."

How many hors d'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray...
How many hors d'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being carried by a waiter at a nice party? Two, but there are ways around it, depending on the style of the hors d'oeuvre. If they're those little pastry things where you can't tell what's inside, you take...

I am so optimistic about beef prices that I've just leased...
I am so optimistic about beef prices that I've just leased a pot roast with an option to buy.

I brake for chezlogs!
I brake for chezlogs!


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