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Daily Fortunes

Nov 15, 2014

The birds are singing, the flowers are budding, and...
The birds are singing, the flowers are budding, and it is time for Miss Manners to tell young lovers to stop necking in public. It's not that Miss Manners is immune to romance. Miss Manners has been known to squeeze a gentleman's arm while being helped over...

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called...
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody but one girl laughed uproariously. "What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?" ...

The defense attorney was hammering away at...
The defense attorney was hammering away at the plaintiff: "You claim," he jeered, "that my client came at you with a broken bottle in his hand. But is it not true, that you had something in YOUR hand?" "Yes," the man admitted,...

The devout Jew was beside himself because his son...
The devout Jew was beside himself because his son had been dating a shiksa, so he went to visit his rabbi. The rabbi listened solemnly to his problem, took his hand, and said, "Pray to God." So the Jew went to the synagogue, bowed his head,...

The doctor had just finished giving the young man...
The doctor had just finished giving the young man a thorough physical examination. "The best thing for you to do," the M.D. said, "is give up drinking, give up smoking, get to bed early and stay away from women." "Doc, I don't...


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