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Daily Fortunes

Feb 1, 2017

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk,...
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny. -- Jack Handey

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong...
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. -- Oscar Wilde

Whenever Richard Cory went downtown, We people on...
Whenever Richard Cory went downtown, We people on the pavement looked at him: He was a gentleman from sole to crown, Clean-favored, and imperially slim. And he was always quietly arrayed, And he was always human when he talked; But still he fluttered...

Whenever someone tells you to take their advice, you can...
Whenever someone tells you to take their advice, you can be pretty sure that they're not using it.

Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is...
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth. -- Mark Twain


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