Daily Fortunes

Jul 7, 2017

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make...
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. -- Groucho Marx

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone...
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. -- Steven Wright

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little...
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. -- Steven Wright

I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back...
I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time. -- Steven Wright

"I said I hope it is a good party," said...
"I said I hope it is a good party," said Galder, loudly. "AT THE MOMENT IT IS," said Death levelly. "I THINK IT MIGHT GO DOWNHILL VERY QUICKLY AT MIDNIGHT." "Why?" "THAT'S WHEN THEY THINK I'LL...

Daily Fortunes for Jul 7, 2017

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