Daily Fortunes Jul 14, 2018 - motd.ambians.com Motd - Message of the Day
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Jul 14, 2018

"I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn...
"I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn. By accident I put the car key in the door lock. The house started up. So I figured what the hell, and drove it around the block a few times. I thought I should go park it in the middle of the freeway and yell...

I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said,...
I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live around here often?" She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks." I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness." She said, "How...

I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having...
I was in Vegas last week. I was at the roulette table, having a lengthy argument about what I considered an Odd number. -- Steven Wright

I was the best I ever had. -- Woody Allen
I was the best I ever had. -- Woody Allen

"I went into a general store, and they wouldn't sell...
"I went into a general store, and they wouldn't sell me anything specific". -- Steven Wright


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