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Dec 14, 2019
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Welcome to Motd

Message of the day, also known as "fortunes" or "fortune cookies", derived from various FreeBSD and Linux sources.

Have a phrase/quote/joke in mind but only remember something somewhat vaguely? The search box (left) may yield some pleasant surprises.

A staple for Unix/Linux users for decades, but largely unknown to the public, it's hard to describe this incredible collection. Not only
amusing, arch, facetious, pithy, humorous, ironic, jocose, keen, satirical, sharp, smart, taunting, witty, biting ...
the collection is also a fascinating view of the cultural history of the computer, priesthood and users, through the Unix looking glass.

Enjoy! and don't forget to vote for your favorite "Best" and "Worst" of Fortunes.

Advisory: Occasional strong language. Discretion advised specially for the Limericks.




Today's Fortunes

Dec 14, 2019

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant? A: With...
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant? A: With a blue-elephant gun. Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant? A: Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue-elephant gun.

Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging? A: Take...
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging? A: Take away his credit cards.

Q: How does a hacker fix a function which doesn't...
Q: How does a hacker fix a function which doesn't work for all of the elements in its domain? A: He changes the domain.

Q: How does the Polish Constitution differ from...
Q: How does the Polish Constitution differ from the American? A: Under the Polish Constitution citizens are guaranteed freedom of speech, but under the United States constitution they are guaranteed freedom after speech. -- being...

Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take...
Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb? A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).


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