|Freebsd Fortunes: 2095 of 3566|
NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Guiseppe? Everything he
says is wrong.
GUISEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says
will be right.
-- George Bernard Shaw, "The Man of Destiny"
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2096 of 3566|
Nasrudin called at a large house to collect for charity. The servant
said "My master is out." Nasrudin replied, "Tell your master that next
time he goes out, he should not leave his face at the window. Someone
might steal it."
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2097 of 3566|
Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the
villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time,"
said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the
villagers but the stupidest ran off to spread the wonderful news. The
remaining villager asked, "What did the King say to you?" "What he
said -- and quite distinctly, for everyone to hear -- was 'Get out of
my way!'" The simpleton was overjoyed; he had heard words actually
spoken by the King, and seen the very man they were spoken to.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2098 of 3566|
Nasrudin walked into a shop one day, and the owner came forward to
serve him. Nasrudin said, "First things first. Did you see me walk
into your shop?" "Of course." "Have you ever seen me before?"
"Never." "Then how do you know it was me?"
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2099 of 3566|
Nasrudin walked into a teahouse and declaimed, "The moon is more useful
than the sun." "Why?", he was asked. "Because at night we need the
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2100 of 3566|
Nasrudin was carrying home a piece of liver and the recipe for liver
pie. Suddenly a bird of prey swooped down and snatched the piece of
meat from his hand. As the bird flew off, Nasrudin called after it,
"Foolish bird! You have the liver, but what can you do with it without
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2101 of 3566|
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of
scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
-- Mary Ellen Kelly
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2102 of 3566|
Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of
conservation of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the
fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he
is most likely to be creamed?
-- Solomon Short
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2103 of 3566|
Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night,
God said, "Let Newton be," and all was light.
It did not last; the devil howling "Ho!
Let Einstein be!" restored the status quo.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 2104 of 3566|
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it
cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
-- Fran Leibowitz