Freebsd Fortunes: 3427 of 3566 |
Without ice cream life and fame are meaningless.
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3428 of 3566 |
Wombat's Laws of Computer Selection:
(1) If it doesn't run Unix, forget it.
(2) Any computer design over 10 years old is obsolete.
(3) Anything made by IBM is junk. (See number 2)
(4) The minimum acceptable CPU power for a single user is a
VAX/780 with a floating point accelerator.
(5) Any computer with a mouse is worthless.
-- Rich Kulawiec
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3429 of 3566 |
Wood is highly ecological, since trees are a renewable resource. If
you cut down a tree, another will grow in its place. And if you cut
down the new tree, still another will grow. And if you cut down that
tree, yet another will grow, only this one will be a mutation with
long, poisonous tentacles and revenge in its heart, and it will sit
there in the forest, cackling and making elaborate plans for when you
come back.
Wood heat is not new. It dates back to a day millions of years ago,
when a group of cavemen were sitting around, watching dinosaurs rot.
Suddenly, lightning struck a nearby log and set it on fire. One of the
cavemen stared at the fire for a few minutes, then said: "Hey! Wood
heat!" The other cavemen, who did not understand English, immediately
beat him to death with stones. But the key discovery had been made,
and from that day forward, the cavemen had all the heat they needed,
although their insurance rates went way up.
-- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3430 of 3566 |
Work Rule: Leave of Absence (for an Operation):
We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage
any thoughts that you may not need all of whatever you have, and you
should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are,
and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we
bargained for.
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3431 of 3566 |
Workers of the world, arise! You have nothing to lose but your
chairs.
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3432 of 3566 |
World War Three can be averted by adherence to a strictly enforced
dress code!
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3433 of 3566 |
Worst Month of 1981 for Downhill Skiing:
August. The lines are the shortest, though.
-- Steve Rubenstein
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3434 of 3566 |
Worst Month of the Year:
February. February has only 28 days in it, which means that if
you rent an apartment, you are paying for three full days you don't
get. Try to avoid Februarys whenever possible.
-- Steve Rubenstein
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3435 of 3566 |
Worst Response To A Crisis, 1985:
From a readers' Q and A column in TV GUIDE: "If we get involved
in a nuclear war, would the electromagnetic pulses from exploding bombs
damage my videotapes?"
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3436 of 3566 |
Worst Vegetable of the Year:
The brussels sprout. This is also the worst vegetable of next
year.
-- Steve Rubenstein
|
|