Freebsd Fortunes: 3524 of 3566 |
You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the
beach.
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3525 of 3566 |
You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were
you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare
yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the
company.
-- J. Wellington Wells
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3526 of 3566 |
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3527 of 3566 |
You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could
know how seldom they do.
-- Olin Miller.
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3528 of 3566 |
You should emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially
if they are dead.
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3529 of 3566 |
You should never bet against anything in science at odds of more than
about 10^12 to 1.
-- Ernest Rutherford
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3530 of 3566 |
You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for
freedom and liberty.
-- Henrik Ibsen
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3531 of 3566 |
You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that,
contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from
houses. Really, that's what scientists believe. In fact many
scientists actually use their fireplaces to cool their houses in the
summer. If you visit a scientist's house on a sultry August day,
you'll find a cheerful fire roaring on the hearth and the scientist
sitting nearby, remarking on how cool he is and drinking heavily.
-- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3532 of 3566 |
You should tip the waiter $10, minus $2 if he tells you his name,
another $2 if he claims it will be His Pleasure to serve you and
another $2 for each "special" he describes involving confusing terms
such as "shallots," and $4 if the menu contains the word "fixin's." In
many restaurants, this means the waiter will actually owe you money.
If you are traveling with a child aged six months to three years, you
should leave an additional amount equal to twice the bill to compensate
for the fact that they will have to take the banquette out and burn it
because the cracks are wedged solid with gobbets made of partially
chewed former restaurant rolls saturated with baby spit.
In New York, tip the taxicab driver $40 if he does not mention his
hemorrhoids.
-- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette"
|
|
|
Freebsd Fortunes: 3533 of 3566 |
"You should, without hesitation, pound your typewriter into a
plowshare, your paper into fertilizer, and enter agriculture."
-- Business Professor, University of Georgia
|
|