Freebsd Fortunes

First Law of Bicycling:
        No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the
wind.

First Law of Procrastination:
        Procrastination shortens the job and places the responsibility
for its termination on someone else (i.e., the authority who imposed
the deadline).

First Law of Socio-Genetics:
        Celibacy is not hereditary.

First Rule of History:
        History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each
other.

"First things first -- but not necessarily in that order"
                -- Dr. Who, "Doctor Who"

Five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity.
                -- Robert Firth

Flappity, floppity, flip
The mouse on the m"obius strip;
        The strip revolved,
        The mouse dissolved
In a chronodimensional skip.

FLASH!  Intelligence of mankind decreasing.  Details at ... uh, when
the little hand is on the ....

Flon's Law:
        There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is
the least bit difficult to write bad programs.

Florence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to her
husband and screamed, "Erlenmeyer!  My joules!  Someone has stolen my
joules!"

"Now, now, my dear," replied her husband, "keep your balance and reflux
a moment.  Perhaps they're mislead."

"No, I know they're stolen," cried Florence.  "I remember putting them
in my burette ... We must call a copper."

Erlenmeyer did so, and the flatfoot who turned up, one Sherlock Ohms,
said the outrage looked like the work of an arch-criminal by the name
of Lawrence Ium.

"We must be careful -- he's a free radical, ultraviolet, and
dangerous.  His girlfriend is a chlorine at the Palladium.  Maybe I can
catch him there."  With that, he jumped on his carbon cycle in an
activated state and sped off along the reaction pathway ...
                -- Daniel B. Murphy, "Precipitations"