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Dec 12, 2017
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Fortune: 1051 - 1060 of 3566 from Freebsd Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes:  1051 of 3566

Fortune's Office Door Sign of the Week:

        Incorrigible punster -- Do not incorrige.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1052 of 3566

FORTUNE'S PARTY TIPS            #14

Tired of finding that other people are helping themselves to your good
liquor at BYOB parties?  Take along a candle, which you insert and
light after you've opened the bottle.  No one ever expects anything
drinkable to be in a bottle which has a candle stuck in its neck.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1053 of 3566

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #18:

Q:  Are you married?
A:  No, I'm divorced.
Q:  And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A:  A lot of things I didn't know about.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1054 of 3566

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #19:

Q:  Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A:  All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1055 of 3566

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #29:

THE JUDGE: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present
           information and prejudice from your minds, if you have
           any ...
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1056 of 3566

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #32:

Q:  Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
A:  I will be three months November 8th.
Q:  Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A:  Yes.
Q:  What were you and your husband doing at that time?
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1057 of 3566

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #37:

Q:  Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A:  No.
Q:  What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A:  Picking them up in the air.
Q:  Where was the dog at this time?
A:  Attached to the ears.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1058 of 3566

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #3:

Q:  When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were
    able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to
    go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with
    him to the station?
MR. BROOKS:  Objection.  That question should be taken out and shot.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1059 of 3566

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #41:

Q:  Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A:  By death.
Q:  And by whose death was it terminated?
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  1060 of 3566

Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #52:

Q:  What is your name?
A:  Ernestine McDowell.
Q:  And what is your marital status?
A:  Fair.
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