|Freebsd Fortunes: 1881 of 3566|
One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1882 of 3566|
(1) Never be first.
(2) Never be last.
(3) Never volunteer for anything
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1883 of 3566|
Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly
that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1884 of 3566|
Look to your stern!
Your house is on fire,
Your children will burn!
So jump ye and sing, for
The very first time
The four lines above
Have been put into rhyme.
-- Walt Kelly
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1885 of 3566|
Laetrile is the pits
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1886 of 3566|
(1) Everything depends.
(2) Nothing is always.
(3) Everything is sometimes.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1887 of 3566|
All laws are basically false.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1888 of 3566|
Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with
was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting
pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the
farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd whimper and tug at their
sleeves, and they'd always waste precious minutes saying things: "Do
you think something's wrong? Do you think she wants us to follow her?
What is it, girl?", etc., as if this had never happened before, instead
of every week. What with all the time these people spent pinned under
the tractor, I don't see how they managed to grow any crops
whatsoever. They probably got by on federal crop supports, which
Lassie filed the applications for.
-- Dave Barry
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1889 of 3566|
"Last night, I came home and realized that everything in my apartment
had been stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate. I told this to
my friend -- he said, `Do I know you?'"
-- Steven Wright
|Freebsd Fortunes: 1890 of 3566|
"Last week a cop stopped me in my car. He asked me if I had a police
record. I said, no, but I have the new DEVO album. Cops have no sense