Freebsd Fortunes

That woman speaks eight languages and can't say "no" in any of them.
                -- Dorothy Parker

The 80's -- when you can't tell hairstyles from chemotherapy.

The Abrams' Principle:
        The shortest distance between two points is off the wall.

The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper
                -- Thomas Jefferson

The Advertising Agency Song:

        When your client's hopping mad,
        Put his picture in the ad.
        If he still should prove refractory,
        Add a picture of his factory.

"The algorithm to do that is extremely nasty.  You might want to mug
someone with it."
                -- M. Devine, Computer Science 340

The answer is that libdialog, the library on which sysinstall depends
for these menus, is genuinely evil.  It is the unloved, satanic
bastard child of multiple parents and torturing users like yourself
constitutes the only joy in life it has left.  Its source files are
all chmod'd 0666 and dire README files warn against trespass by
neophyte programmers.  It is the 7th gate of Hell.  It makes the baby
Jesus cry.  Were libdialog given anthropomorphic representation, it
would be promptly burnt at the stake and its ashes scattered in the
desert, to be then doused with holy water from altitude by
fire-fighting aircraft.

                -- Jordan K. Hubbard on the evils of libdialog

The Arkansas legislature passed a law that states that the Arkansas
River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little
Rock.

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion.
Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed
and color, but also on ability.
                -- T. Lehrer

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.
                -- Bill Murray