|Freebsd Fortunes: 3491 of 3566|
You can't start worrying about what's going to happen. You get spastic
enough worrying about what's happening now.
-- Lauren Bacall
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3492 of 3566|
"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."
-- Charles Schulz, "Things I've Had to Learn Over and
Over and Over"
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3493 of 3566|
"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they
-- Dagwood Bumstead
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3494 of 3566|
You could get a new lease on life -- if only you didn't need the first
and last month in advance.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3495 of 3566|
You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable
-- Ed Meese, on the Hinckley verdict
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3496 of 3566|
You do not have mail.
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3497 of 3566|
You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.
-- J. D. Salinger
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3498 of 3566|
You don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat with knitting
-- Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3499 of 3566|
You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form.
The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified",
which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears
tax-preparation expert to distinguish between their first and last
names. Here's the complete text:
"(1) How much did you make? (AMOUNT)
"(2) How much did we here at the government take out? (AMOUNT)
"(3) Hey! Sounds like we took too much! So we're going to
send an official government check for (ONE-FIFTEENTH OF
THE AMOUNT WE TOOK) directly to the (YOUR LAST NAME)
household at (YOUR ADDRESS), for you to spend in any way
you please! Which just goes to show you, (YOUR FIRST
NAME), that it pays to file the short form!"
The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your
money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long
-- Dave Barry, "Sweating Out Taxes"
|Freebsd Fortunes: 3500 of 3566|
You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.