Freebsd Fortunes
fortune: 3491 - 3500 of 3566 from freebsd fortunes
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Dec 14, 2017
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Freebsd Fortunes

Fortune: 3491 - 3500 of 3566 from Freebsd Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes:  3491 of 3566

You can't start worrying about what's going to happen.  You get spastic
enough worrying about what's happening now.
                -- Lauren Bacall
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3492 of 3566

"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."
                -- Charles Schulz, "Things I've Had to Learn Over and
                   Over and Over"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3493 of 3566

"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they
don't."
                -- Dagwood Bumstead
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3494 of 3566

You could get a new lease on life -- if only you didn't need the first
and last month in advance.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3495 of 3566

You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable
doubt.
                -- Ed Meese, on the Hinckley verdict
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3496 of 3566

You do not have mail.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3497 of 3566

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.
                -- J. D. Salinger
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3498 of 3566

You don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat with knitting
needles.
                -- Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3499 of 3566

You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form.
The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified",
which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears
tax-preparation expert to distinguish between their first and last
names.  Here's the complete text:

        "(1) How much did you make?  (AMOUNT)
        "(2) How much did we here at the government take out?  (AMOUNT)
        "(3) Hey!  Sounds like we took too much!  So we're going to
             send an official government check for (ONE-FIFTEENTH OF
             THE AMOUNT WE TOOK) directly to the (YOUR LAST NAME)
             household at (YOUR ADDRESS), for you to spend in any way
             you please! Which just goes to show you, (YOUR FIRST
             NAME), that it pays to file the short form!"

The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your
money.  So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long
form.
                -- Dave Barry, "Sweating Out Taxes"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  3500 of 3566

You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.
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