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Freebsd Fortunes

Fortune: 491 - 500 of 3566 from Freebsd Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes:  491 of 3566

As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it
wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought.  Debugging had
to be discovered.  I can remember the exact instant when I realized
that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in
finding mistakes in my own programs.
                -- Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  492 of 3566

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" -- probably because it's
so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
                -- Woody Allen
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  493 of 3566

As the trials of life continue to take their toll, remember that there
is always a future in Computer Maintenance.
                -- National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  494 of 3566

As Will Rogers would have said, "There is no such things as a free
variable."
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  495 of 3566

As with most fine things, chocolate has its season.  There is a simple
memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time
to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A,
E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.
                -- Sandra Boynton, "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  496 of 3566

As you know, birds do not have sexual organs because they would
interfere with flight.  [In fact, this was the big breakthrough for the
Wright Brothers.  They were watching birds one day, trying to figure
out how to get their crude machine to fly, when suddenly it dawned on
Wilbur.  "Orville," he said, "all we have to do is remove the sexual
organs!"  You should have seen their original design.]  As a result,
birds are very, very difficult to arouse sexually.  You almost never
see an aroused bird.  So when they want to reproduce, birds fly up and
stand on telephone lines, where they monitor telephone conversations
with their feet.  When they find a conversation in which people are
talking dirty, they grip the line very tightly until they are both
highly aroused, at which point the female gets pregnant.
                -- Dave Barry, "Sex and the Single Amoeba: What Every
                   Teen Should Know"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  497 of 3566

As you reach for the web, a venomous spider appears.  Unable to pull
your hand away in time, the spider promptly, but politely, bites you.
The venom takes affect quickly causing your lips to turn plaid along
with your complexion.  You become dazed, and in your stupor you fall
from the limbs of the tree.  Snap!  Your head falls off and rolls all
over the ground.  The instant before you croak, you hear the whoosh of
a vacuum being filled by the air surrounding your head.  Worse yet, the
spider is suing you for damages.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  498 of 3566

As Zeus said to Narcissus, "Watch yourself."
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  499 of 3566

ASHes to ASHes, DOS to DOS.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  500 of 3566

Ask five economists and you'll get five different explanations (six if
one went to Harvard).
                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
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