Freebsd Fortunes: 658 of 3566 |
Cat, n.:
Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 659 of 3566 |
Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.
-- Mark Twain
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Freebsd Fortunes: 660 of 3566 |
Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 661 of 3566 |
CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..
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Freebsd Fortunes: 662 of 3566 |
Cecil, you're my final hope
Of finding out the true Straight Dope
For I have been reading of Schrodinger's cat
But none of my cats are at all like that.
This unusual animal (so it is said)
Is simultaneously alive and dead!
What I don't understand is just why he
Can't be one or the other, unquestionably.
My future now hangs in between eigenstates.
In one I'm enlightened, in the other I ain't.
If *you* understand, Cecil, then show me the way
And rescue my psyche from quantum decay.
But if this queer thing has perplexed even you,
Then I will *and* I won't see you in Schrodinger's zoo.
-- Randy F., Chicago, "The Straight Dope, a compendium
of human knowledge" by Cecil Adams
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Freebsd Fortunes: 663 of 3566 |
Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch.
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Freebsd Fortunes: 664 of 3566 |
Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the
center of the universe. The premise is wrong, but the navigation
works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop III
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Freebsd Fortunes: 665 of 3566 |
Census Taker to Housewife: Did you ever have the measles, and, if so,
how many?
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Freebsd Fortunes: 666 of 3566 |
Cerebus: I'd love to lick apricot brandy out of your navel.
Jaka: Look, Cerebus-- Jaka has to tell you ... something
Cerebus: If Cerebus had a navel, would you lick apricot brandy
out of it?
Jaka: Ugh!
Cerebus: You don't like apricot brandy?
-- Cerebus #6, "The Secret"
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Freebsd Fortunes: 667 of 3566 |
Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long
walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They
then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy
health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old,
not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find
only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the
others who have tried it.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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