Freebsd Fortunes
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Freebsd Fortunes

Fortune: 661 - 670 of 3566 from Freebsd Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes:  661 of 3566

CChheecckk  yyoouurr  dduupplleexx  sswwiittcchh..
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  662 of 3566

Cecil, you're my final hope
Of finding out the true Straight Dope
For I have been reading of Schrodinger's cat
But none of my cats are at all like that.
This unusual animal (so it is said)
Is simultaneously alive and dead!
What I don't understand is just why he
Can't be one or the other, unquestionably.
My future now hangs in between eigenstates.
In one I'm enlightened, in the other I ain't.
If *you* understand, Cecil, then show me the way
And rescue my psyche from quantum decay.
But if this queer thing has perplexed even you,
Then I will *and* I won't see you in Schrodinger's zoo.
                -- Randy F., Chicago, "The Straight Dope, a compendium
                   of human knowledge" by Cecil Adams
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  663 of 3566

Celebrate Hannibal Day this year.  Take an elephant to lunch.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  664 of 3566

Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the
center of the universe.  The premise is wrong, but the navigation
works.  An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
                -- Kelvin Throop III
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  665 of 3566

Census Taker to Housewife: Did you ever have the measles, and, if so,
how many?
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  666 of 3566

Cerebus:        I'd love to lick apricot brandy out of your navel.
Jaka:           Look, Cerebus-- Jaka has to tell you ... something
Cerebus:        If Cerebus had a navel, would you lick apricot brandy
                out of it?
Jaka:           Ugh!
Cerebus:        You don't like apricot brandy?
                -- Cerebus #6, "The Secret"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  667 of 3566

Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long
walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh.  They
then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy
health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old,
not because of their habits, but in spite of them.  The reason we find
only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the
others who have tried it.
                -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  668 of 3566

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny--
        Did you ever try buying them without money?
                -- Ogden Nash
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  669 of 3566

Character Density, n.:
        The number of very weird people in the office.
 
Freebsd Fortunes:  670 of 3566

Checkuary, n.:
        The thirteenth month of the year.  Begins New Year's Day and
ends when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his
checks.
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