Freebsd Fortunes 2
fortune: 1301 - 1310 of 1371 from freebsd fortunes 2
Motd - Message of the Day
Humor, Quotes, Proverbs, Aphorisms... Ji Funda Jo Hai  
Daily Fortunes Feed Subscribe - Daily Fortunes - motd.ambians.com
Daily fortunes for your site
Jul 28, 2017
Motd Home     Daily Fortunes     Best of Fortunes     Worst of Fortunes

Freebsd Fortunes 2

Fortune: 1301 - 1310 of 1371 from Freebsd Fortunes 2

Freebsd Fortunes 2:  1301 of 1371

An efficient and a successful administration manifests
itself equally in small as in great matters.
                -- W. Churchill
 
Freebsd Fortunes 2:  1302 of 1371

An egghead is one who stands firmly on both feet,
in mid-air, on both sides of an issue.
                -- Homer Ferguson
 
Freebsd Fortunes 2:  1303 of 1371

An elderly couple were flying to their Caribbean hideaway on a chartered plane
when a terrible storm forced them to land on an uninhabited island.  When
several days passed without rescue, the couple and their pilot sank into a
despondent silence. Finally, the woman asked her husband if he had made his
usual pledge to the United Way Campaign.
        "We're running out of food and water and you ask *that*?" her husband
barked.  "If you really need to know, I not only pledged a half million but
I've already paid them half of it."
        "You owe the U.W.C. a *quarter million*?" the woman exclaimed
euphorically.  "Don't worry, Harry, they'll find us!  They'll find us!"
 
Freebsd Fortunes 2:  1304 of 1371

An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 2:  1305 of 1371

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician find themselves in an
anecdote, indeed an anecdote quite similar to many that you have no doubt
already heard.  After some observations and rough calculations the
engineer realizes the situation and starts laughing.  A few minutes later
the physicist understands too and chuckles to himself happily as he now
has enough experimental evidence to publish a paper.  This leaves the
mathematician somewhat perplexed, as he had observed right away that he
was the subject of an anecdote, and deduced quite rapidly the presence of
humour from similar anecdotes, but considers this anecdote to be too
trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 2:  1306 of 1371

An engineer is someone who does list processing in FORTRAN.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 2:  1307 of 1371

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
                -- A.P. Herbert
 
Freebsd Fortunes 2:  1308 of 1371

An evil mind is a great comfort.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 2:  1309 of 1371

An excellence-oriented '80s male does not wear a regular watch.  He wears
a Rolex watch, because it weighs nearly six pounds and is advertised
only in excellence-oriented publications such as Fortune and Rich
Protestant Golfer Magazine.  The advertisements are written in
incomplete sentences, which is how advertising copywriters denote
excellence:

"The Rolex Hyperion.  An elegant new standard in quality excellence and
discriminating handcraftsmanship.  For the individual who is truly able
to discriminate with regard to excellent quality standards of crafting
things by hand.  Fabricated of 100 percent 24-karat gold.  No watch
parts or anything.  Just a great big chunk on your wrist.  Truly a
timeless statement.  For the individual who is very secure.  Who
doesn't need to be reminded all the time that he is very successful.
Much more successful than the people who laughed at him in high
school.  Because of his acne.  People who are probably nowhere near as
successful as he is now.  Maybe he'll go to his 20th reunion, and
they'll see his Rolex Hyperion.  Hahahahahahahahaha."
                -- Dave Barry, "In Search of Excellence"
 
Freebsd Fortunes 2:  1310 of 1371

...an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and quite often
picturesque liar.
                -- Mark Twain
« Prev Random Freebsd Fortunes 2   Next »
« Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  22  23  24  25  26  27  28  29  30  31  32  33  34  35  36  37  38  39  40  41  42  43  44  45  46  47  48  49  50  51  52  53  54  55  56  57  58  59  60  61  62  63  64  65  66  67  68  69  70  71  72  73  74  75  76  77  78  79  80  81  82  83  84  85  86  87  88  89  90  91  92  93  94  95  96  97  98  99  100  101  102  103  104  105  106  107  108  109  110  111  112  113  114  115  116  117  118  119  120  121  122  123  124  125  126  127  128  129  130  131  132  133  134  135  136  137  138  Next »
Search [help]

About  |  Contact Us  |  Terms of Use  |  Privacy & Disclosure
FreeBsd Quotes  |  Linux Quotes