Freebsd Fortunes 2

                        Pittsburgh driver's test
5: Your car's horn is a vital piece of safety equipment.
   How often should you test it?
        a) once a year.
        b) once a month.
        c) once a day.
        d) once an hour.
The correct answer is d.
You should test your car's horn at least once every hour,
and more often at night or in residential neighborhoods.

                        Pittsburgh driver's test
7: The car directly in front of you has a flashing right tail light
   but a steady left tail light.
        a) One of the tail lights is broken.  You should blow your
           horn to call the problem to the driver's attention.
        b) The driver is signaling a right turn.
        c) The driver is signaling a left turn.
        d) The driver is from out of town.
The correct answer is d.
Tail lights are used in some foreign countries to signal turns.

                        Pittsburgh driver's test
8: Pedestrians are
        a) irrelevant.
        b) communists.
        c) a nuisance.
        d) difficult to clean off the front grille.
The correct answer is a.  Pedestrians are not in cars, so they
are totally irrelevant to driving, and you should ignore them
completely.

                        Pittsburgh driver's test
9: Roads are salted in order to
        a) kill grass.
        b) melt snow.
        c) help the economy.
        d) prevent potholes.
The correct answer is c.
Road salting employs thousands of persons directly, and millions more
indirectly, for example, salt miners and rustproofers.  Most important,
salting reduces the life spans of cars, thus stimulating the car and
steel industries.

                 (  /__________/  )
                  (^ @___..___@ ^)/
                   / (////) /
                  /  (////)/  
                -(    """"""""""    )
                        _____      /
                  (     /(   )     )
                  _)   (_V) (V_)   (_
                 (V)(V)(V)   (V)(V)(V)

                    ___====-_  _-====___
              _--~~~#####//      \#####~~~--_
           _-~##########// (    ) \##########~-_
          -############//  :^^/:  \############-
        _~############//   (@::@)   \############~_
       ~#############((     \//     ))#############~
      -###############\    (^^)    //###############-
     -#################\  / ""   //#################-
    -###################\/      //###################-
   _#/:##########/\######(   /   )######/\##########:\#_
   :/ :#/\#/\#//  \#/\##  :  :  /##/\#/  /\#/\#/\#: :
   "  :/  V  V  "   V  \#: :  : :/#/  V   "  V  V  :  "
      "   "  "      "    : :  : : /   "      "  "   "

                        Has your family tried 'em?

                           POWDERMILK BISCUITS

                 Heavens, they're tasty and expeditious!

            They're made from whole wheat, to give shy persons
           the strength to get up and do what needs to be done.

                           POWDERMILK BISCUITS

        Buy them ready-made in the big blue box with the picture of
        the biscuit on the front, or in the brown bag with the dark
                     stains that indicate freshness.

                Answers to Last Fortunes' Questions:
1) None. (Moses didn't have an ark).
2) Your mother, by the pigeonhole principle.
3) You don't know.  Neither does your boss.
4) Who cares?
5) 6 (or maybe 4, or else 3).  Mr. Alfred J. Duncan of Podunk, Montana,
   submitted an interesting solution to Problem 5.  Unfortunately, I lost it.
6) I know the answer to this one, but I'm not telling!  Suffer!  Ha-ha-ha!!
7) There is an interesting solution to this problem on page 10,953 of my
   book, which you can pick up for $23.95 at finer bookstores and bathroom
   supply outlets (or 99 cents at the table in front of Papyrus Books).

                Hard Copies and Chmod

And everyone thinks computers are impersonal
cold diskdrives hardware monitors
user-hostile software

of course they're only bits and bytes
and characters and strings
and files

just some old textfiles from my old boyfriend
telling me he loves me and
he'll take care of me

simply a discarded printout of a friend's directory
deep intimate secrets and
how he doesn't trust me

couldn't hurt me more if they were scented in lavender or mould
on personal stationery
                -- terri@csd4.milw.wisc.edu

                `O' LEVEL COUNTER CULTURE
Timewarp allowed: 3 hours.  Do not scrawl situationalist graffiti in the
margins or stub your rollups in the inkwells.  Orange may be worn.  Credit
will be given to candidates who self-actualize.

        1: Compare and contrast Pink Floyd with Black Sabbath and say why
neither has street credibility.
        2: "Even Buddha would have been hard pushed to reach Nirvana squatting
on a juggernaut route."  Consider the dialectic of inner truth and inner
city.
        3: Discuss degree of hassle involved in paranoia about being sucked
into a black hole.
        4: "The Egomaniac's Liberation Front were a bunch of revisionist
ripoff merchants."  Comment on this insult.
        5: Account for the lack of references to brown rice in Dylan's lyrics.
        6: "Castenada was a bit of a bozo."  How far is this a fair summing
up of western dualism?
        7: Hermann Hesse was a Pisces.  Discuss.