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A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Was it true," the woman
inquired, "that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest
of her life?"
She was told that it was. There was just a moment of silence before
the woman proceeded bravely on. "Well, I'm wondering, then, how serious my
condition is. This prescription is marked `NO REFILLS'".
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A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano.
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A doctor calls his patient to give him the results of his tests. "I have
some bad news," says the doctor, "and some worse news." The bad news is
that you only have six weeks to live."
"Oh, no," says the patient. "What could possibly be worse than
"Well," the doctor replies, "I've been trying to reach you since
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A doctor was stranded with a lawyer in a leaky life raft in shark-infested
waters. The doctor tried to swim ashore but was eaten by the sharks. The
lawyer, however, swam safely past the bloodthirsty sharks. "Professional
courtesy," he explained.
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A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
-- Ogden Nash
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A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him
what he meant.
-- Wilson Mizner
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A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.
-- Stanislaw Lem
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A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to
a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate
a shilling. "Only a shilling?" exclaimed the man. "Only a shilling to bury
an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury twenty of them."
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A fail-safe circuit will destroy others.
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A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.