Freebsd Fortunes 2

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)
        -- by Charles Dickens

        A man in love with a girl who loves another man who looks just
        like him has his head chopped off in France because of a mean
        lady who knits.

Crime and Punishment LITE(tm)
        -- by Fyodor Dostoevski

        A man sends a nasty letter to a pawnbroker, but later
        feels guilty and apologizes.

The Odyssey LITE(tm)
        -- by Homer

        After working late, a valiant warrior gets lost on his way home.

A tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you.

A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
                -- Michael Winner, British film director

A Texan, impressing the hell out of a Bostonian with tales about the heroes
of the Alamo, commented, "I'll bet you never had anyone that brave around
*Boston*."
        "Ever hear of Paul Revere?", snarled the Bostonian.
        "Paul Revere?", pondered the Texan.  "Isn't he the guy who ran for
help?"

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
                -- Oscar Wilde, "The Portrait of Mr. W.H."

A timely marriage: one made before your children start nagging you about it.
                -- Diane Duane

A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything
but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
                -- Ambrose Bierce

A transistor protected by a fast-acting
fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.

A traveling salesman was driving past a farm when he saw a pig with three
wooden legs executing a magnificent series of backflips and cartwheels.
Intrigued, he drove up to the farmhouse, where he found an old farmer
sitting in the yard watching the pig.
        "That's quite a pig you have there, sir" said the salesman.
        "Sure is, son," the farmer replied.  "Why, two years ago, my daughter
was swimming in the lake and bumped her head and damned near drowned, but that
pig swam out and dragged her back to shore."
        "Amazing!"  the salesman exclaimed.
        "And that's not the only thing.  Last fall I was cuttin' wood up on
the north forty when a tree fell on me.  Pinned me to the ground, it did.
That pig run up and wiggled underneath that tree and lifted it off of me.
Saved my life."
        "Fantastic!  the salesman said.  But tell me, how come the pig has
three wooden legs?"
        The farmer stared at the newcomer in amazement.  "Mister, when you
got an amazin' pig like that, you don't eat him all at once."

A true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother
drudge for his living at seventy, sooner than work at anything but his art.
                -- Shaw