Freebsd Fortunes 3

As a professional humorist, I often get letters from readers who are
interested in the basic nature of humor.  "What kind of a sick perverted
disgusting person are you," these letters typically ask, "that you make
jokes about setting fire to a goat?"
                -- Dave Barry

As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I
thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became a scientist.
This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
                -- M. Cartmill

As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and
I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became a scientist.
This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
                -- Matt Cartmill

As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty,
and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became a
scientist.  This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
                -- M. Cartmill

As an Englishman, an Aussie and a Scotsman are sitting in a pub, quaffing
a few, three flies buzz down from the ceiling and lazily circle each drinker.
Suddenly "buzzzzzzzzplooop", each fly does a kamakazi dive into a different
glass.
        The Englishman take a disgusted look at his pint, dips the fly out
with a spoon,  flicks the fly over his shoulder, and drains the glass.
        The Aussie notices the fly as he puts the glass to his lips.  With
a quick puff he blows the bug out in a cloud of foam, and tosses the beer
down in one gulp.
        Then, as they both look on, awestruck, the Scotsman gently grasps the
fly by its wings, lifts it out of his brew and shakes it off.  Then, in a
firm voice he speaks to the fly: "There y'are now laddie, safe and sound.
NOW SPIT IT OOOOT!"

As crazy as hauling timber into the woods.
                -- Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)

As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp
the meaning of existence.  Both make one feel like a baby clutching at
a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.
                -- Joseph Brodsky

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain;
and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
                -- Einstein

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
                -- Weisert

As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.
                -- Shakespeare, "King Lear"