|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1811 of 2182|
Genuine happiness is when a wife sees a double chin on her husband's
old girl friend.
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1812 of 2182|
George Bernard Shaw once sent two tickets to the opening night of one of
his plays to Winston Churchill with the following note:
"Bring a friend, if you have one."
Churchill wrote back, returning the two tickets and excused himself as he
had a previous engagement. He also attached the following:
"Please send me two tickets for the next night, if there is one."
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1813 of 2182|
George Orwell was an optimist.
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1814 of 2182|
George Washington was first in war, first in peace -- and the first to
have his birthday juggled to make a long weekend.
-- Ashley Cooper
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1815 of 2182|
George's friend Sam had a dog who could recite the Gettysburg Address. "Let
me buy him from you," pleaded George after a demonstration.
"Okay," agreed Sam. "All he knows is that Lincoln speech anyway."
At his company's Fourth of July picnic, George brought his new pet
and announced that the animal could recite the entire Gettysburg Address.
No one believed him, and they proceeded to place bets against the dog.
George quieted the crowd and said, "Now we'll begin!" Then he looked at
the dog. The dog looked back. No sound. "Come on, boy, do your stuff."
Nothing. A disappointed George took his dog and went home.
"Why did you embarrass me like that in front of everybody?" George
yelled at the dog. "Do you realize how much money you lost me?"
"Don't be silly, George," replied the dog. "Think of the odds we're
gonna get on Labor Day."
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1816 of 2182|
(German philosopher) Georg Wilhelm Hegel, on his deathbed, complained, "Only
one man ever understood me." He fell silent for a while and then added,
"And he didn't understand me."
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1817 of 2182|
Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
1) An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
2) An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.
3) The energy required to change either one of these states
will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so
much as to make the task totally impossible.
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1818 of 2182|
Get forgiveness now -- tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1819 of 2182|
The Gurus of Unix Meeting of Minds (GUMM) takes place Wednesday, April 1, 2076
(check THAT in your perpetual calendar program), 14 feet above the ground
directly in front of the Milpitas Gumps. Members will grep each other by the
hand (after intro), yacc a lot, smoke filtered chroots in pipes, chown with
forks, use the wc (unless uuclean), fseek nice zombie processes, strip, and
sleep, but not, we hope, od. Three days will be devoted to discussion of the
ramifications of whodo. Two seconds have been allotted for a complete rundown
of all the user-friendly features of Unix. Seminars include "Everything You
Know is Wrong", led by Tom Kempson, "Batman or Cat:man?" led by Richie Dennis
"cc C? Si! Si!" led by Kerwin Bernighan, and "Document Unix, Are You
Kidding?" led by Jan Yeats. No Reader Service No. is necessary because all
GUGUs (Gurus of Unix Group of Users) already know everything we could tell
-- Dr. Dobb's Journal, June 1984
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 1820 of 2182|
Get in touch with your feelings of hostility against the dying light.
-- Dylan Thomas