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Baker's First Law of Federal Geometry:
A block grant is a solid mass of money
surrounded on all sides by governors.
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Fear of bullets;
Fear of opening one's eyes.
Fear of sinning.
Fear of being buried alive.
Fear of food.
Fear of hair.
Fear of clothing.
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A wharf-rat stealing Diogenes' lamp.
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Ban the bomb. Save the world for conventional warfare.
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Banacek's Eighteenth Polish Proverb:
The hippo has no sting, but the wise
man would rather be sat upon by the bee.
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Bank error in your favor. Collect $200.
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An alcoholic is a person who drinks more than his own physician.
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Barbara's Rules of Bitter Experience:
(1) When you empty a drawer for his clothes
and a shelf for his toiletries, the relationship ends.
(2) When you finally buy pretty stationary
to continue the correspondence, he stops writing.
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Proofreading is more effective after publication.
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An ingenious instrument which indicates
what kind of weather we are having.