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Class: when they're running you out of town, to look like you're
leading the parade.
-- Bill Battie
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 682 of 2182|
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
-- Kin Hubbard, "Abe Martin's Sayings"
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 683 of 2182|
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 684 of 2182|
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling
the walk before it stops snowing.
-- Phyllis Diller
There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years
the dirt doesn't get any worse.
-- Quentin Crisp
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 685 of 2182|
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
-- P.J. O'Rourke
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 686 of 2182|
Cleanliness is next to impossible.
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 687 of 2182|
Where their last tornado did six
million dollars worth of improvements.
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 688 of 2182|
Yes, I spent a week there one day.
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Climate and Surgery
R C Gilchrist, who was shot by J Sharp twelve days ago, and who
received a derringer ball in the right breast, and who it was supposed at
the time could not live many hours, was on the street yesterday and the
day before - walking several blocks at a time. To those who design to be
riddled with bullets or cut to pieces with Bowie-knives, we cordially
recommend our Sacramento climate and Sacramento surgery.
-- Sacramento Daily Union, September 11, 1861
|Freebsd Fortunes 3: 690 of 2182|
Climbing onto a bar stool, a piece of string asked for a beer.
"Wait a minute. Aren't you a string?"
"Well, yes, I am."
"Sorry. We don't serve strings here."
The determined string left the bar and stopped a passer-by. "Excuse,
me," it said, "would you shred my ends and tie me up like a pretzel?" The
passer-by obliged, and the string re-entered the bar. "May I have a beer,
please?" it asked the bartender.
The barkeep set a beer in front of the string, then suddenly stopped.
"Hey, aren't you the string I just threw out of here?"
"No, I'm a frayed knot."