Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house. -- Mark Guido
Houdini escaping from New Jersey!
Household hint: If you are out of cream for your coffee, mayonnaise makes a dandy substitute.
Housework can kill you if done right. -- Erma Bombeck
Houston, Tranquillity Base here. The Eagle has landed. -- Neil Armstrong
How apt the poor are to be proud. -- William Shakespeare, "Twelfth-Night"
How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
How can you do 'New Math' problems with an 'Old Math' mind? -- Schulz
How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese? -- Charles de Gaulle
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? -- Pink Floyd