|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1931 of 2327|
job Placement, n:
Telling your boss what he can do with your job.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1932 of 2327|
Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1933 of 2327|
Joe sat as his dying wife's bedside.
Her voice was little more than a whisper.
"Joe, darling," she breathed, "I've got a confession to make
before I go. I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe...
I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Charles. And it was I who
forced your mistress to leave the city. And I am the one who reported
your income-tax evasion to the I.R.S..."
"That's all right, dearest, don't give it a second thought,"
whispered Joe. "I'm the one who poisoned you."
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1934 of 2327|
Joe's sister puts spaghetti in her shoes!
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1935 of 2327|
An odd sort of person with a thing for pain.
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1936 of 2327|
John Dame May Oscar
Was Gay Was Whitty Was Wilde
But Gerard Hopkins But John Greenleaf But Thornton
Was Manley Was Whittier Was Wilder
-- Willard Espy
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1937 of 2327|
John Birch Society:
That pathetic manifestation of organized apoplexy.
-- Edward P. Morgan
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1938 of 2327|
JOHN PAUL ELECTED POPE!!
(George and Ringo miffed.)
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1939 of 2327|
John the Baptist after poisoning a thief,
Looks up at his hero, the Commander-in-Chief,
Saying tell me great leader, but please make it brief
Is there a hole for me to get sick in?
The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fly,
Saying death to all those who would whimper and cry.
And dropping a barbell he points to the sky,
Saying the sun is not yellow, it's chicken.
-- Bob Dylan, "Tombstone Blues"
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 1940 of 2327|
Johnny Carson's Definition:
The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs
in Manhattan between the traffic signal turning green and the
taxi driver behind you blowing his horn.