|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 691 of 2327|
I thought there was something fishy about the butler. Probably a Pisces,
working for scale.
-- Firesign Theatre, "The Further Adventures of Nick Danger"
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 692 of 2327|
I thought YOU silenced the guard!
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 693 of 2327|
I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own."
One of them said, "So will you."
-- Rodney Dangerfield
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 694 of 2327|
I took a course in speed reading, learning to read straight down the middle
of the page, and I was able to go through "War and Peace" in twenty minutes.
It's about Russia.
-- Woody Allen
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 695 of 2327|
I treasure this strange combination found in very few persons: a fierce
desire for life as well as a lucid perception of the ultimate futility of
-- Madeleine Gobeil
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 696 of 2327|
I truly wish I could be a great surgeon or philosopher or author or anything
constructive, but in all honesty I'd rather turn up my amplifier full blast
and drown myself in the noise.
-- Charles Schmid, the "Tucson Murderer"
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 697 of 2327|
I trust the first lion he meets will do his duty.
-- J.P. Morgan on Teddy Roosevelt's safari
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 698 of 2327|
I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity.
-- Bill Veeck
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 699 of 2327|
I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.
-- Judge Harold T. Stone
|Freebsd Fortunes 4: 700 of 2327|
I turned my air conditioner the other way around, and it got cold out.
The weatherman said "I don't understand it. I was supposed to be 80
degrees today," and I said "Oops."
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so
I never have to go upstairs.
I just bought a microwave fireplace... You can spend an evening in
front of it in only eight minutes.
-- Stephen Wright