Freebsd Fortunes 4

HERE'S A GOOD JOKE to do during an earthquake.  Straddle a big crack in
the earth and if it opens wider, go, "Whoa! Whoa!" and flap your arms
around as if you're going to fall.
                -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

Here's something to think about:  How come you never see a headline like
`Psychic Wins Lottery.'
                -- Jay Leno

Here's the holiday schedule for Monday's observation of Martin Luther
King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed:

        * Governmental offices
        * Post offices
        * Libraries
        * Schools
        * Banks
        * Parts of Palm Beach

and the mind of Senator Jesse Helms of North Carolina.
                -- Dennis Miller, "Saturday Night Live"

Herth's Law:
        He who turns the other cheek too far gets it in the neck.

He's been like a father to me,
He's the only DJ you can get after three,
I'm an all-night musician in a rock and roll band,
And why he don't like me I don't understand.
                -- The Byrds

He's dead, Jim.

He's got the heart of a little child,
and he keeps it in a jar on his desk.

He's just a politician trying to save both his faces...

He's just like Capistrano, always ready for a few swallows.

He's like a function -- he returns a value, in the form of
his opinion.  It's up to you to cast it into a void or not.
                -- Phil Lapsley