Freebsd Fortunes 5
fortune: 1541 - 1550 of 2298 from freebsd fortunes 5
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Freebsd Fortunes 5

Fortune: 1541 - 1550 of 2298 from Freebsd Fortunes 5

Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1541 of 2298

Q:      How does a WASP propose marriage?
A:      "How would you like to be buried with my people?"
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1542 of 2298

Q:      How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A:      That's proprietary information.  Answer available from AT&T on payment
        of license fee (binary only).
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1543 of 2298

Q:      How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:      Two.  One to assure everyone that everything possible is being
        done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1544 of 2298

Q:      How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:      Five.  One to screw in the lightbulb and four to share the
                experience.  (Actually, Californians don't screw in
                lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs.)

Q:      How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:      Three.  One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all
                those Californians trying to share the experience.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1545 of 2298

Q:      How many college football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:      Only one, but he gets three credits for it.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1546 of 2298

Q:      How many DEC repairmen does it take to fix a flat?
A:      Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.

Q:      How long does it take?
A:      It's indeterminate.
        It will depend upon how many flats they've brought with them.

Q:      What happens if you've got TWO flats?
A:      They replace your generator.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1547 of 2298

Q:      How many Democrats does it take to enjoy a good joke?
A:      One more than you can find.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1548 of 2298

Q:      How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A:      Four.  Two in the front, two in the back.

Q:      How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A:      There's a footprint in the mayo.

Q:      How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:      There's two footprints in the mayo.

Q:      How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:      The door won't shut.

Q:      How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:      There's a VW Bug in your driveway.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1549 of 2298

Q:      How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:      None.  We'll fix it in software.

Q:      How many system programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:      None.  The application can work around it.

Q:      How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:      None.  We'll document it in the manual.

Q:      How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:      None.  The user can figure it out.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 5:  1550 of 2298

Q:      How many Harvard MBA's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:      Just one.  He grasps it firmly and the universe revolves around him.
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