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Meetings are an addictive, highly self indulgent activity that
corporations and other large organizations habitually engage
in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry
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An interoffice communication too often written more for
the benefit of the person who sends it than the person
who receives it.
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I
remember we'd all get into the car -- I forget what kind it was -- and
drive and drive.
I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some bees there. The
smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we
played. I remember a bigger, older guy whom we called "Dad." We'd eat
some stuff or not and then I think we went home.
I guess some things never leave you.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
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Memory fault -- brain fried
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Memory fault -- core...uh...um...core... Oh dammit, I forget!
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Memory fault - where am I?
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Memory should be the starting point of the present.
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Men are always ready to respect anything that bores them.
-- Marilyn Monroe
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Men are amused by almost any idiot thing -- that is why professional ice
hockey is so popular -- so buying gifts for them is easy. But you should
never buy them clothes. Men believe they already have all the clothes they
will ever need, and new ones make them nervous. For example, your average
man has 84 ties, but he wears, at most, only three of them. He has learned,
through humiliating trial and error, that if he wears any of the other 81
ties, his wife will probably laugh at him ("You're not going to wear THAT
tie with that suit, are you?"). So he has narrowed it down to three safe
ties, and has gone several years without being laughed at. If you give him
a new tie, he will pretend to like it, but deep inside he will hate you.
If you want to give a man something practical, consider tires. More
than once, I would have gladly traded all the gifts I got for a new set
-- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"
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Men are superior to women.
-- The Koran