Freebsd Fortunes 5

Must be getting close to town -- we're hitting more people.

Must I hold a candle to my shames?
                -- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"

MUSTGO:
        Any item of food that has been sitting in the
        refrigerator so long it has become a science project.
                -- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends

My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.
                -- The Dragon to Grendel, in John Gardner's "Grendel"

My analyst told me that I was right out of my head,
        But I said, "Dear Doctor, I think that it is you instead.
Because I have got a thing that is unique and new,
        To prove it I'll have the last laugh on you.
'Cause instead of one head -- I've got two.

And you know two heads are better than one.

My best argument against discrimination is quite simple:

Does it really matter if the ABC people are inferior to the DEF people if
they can tell one end of a gun from the other?

My Bonnie looked into a gas tank,
The height of its contents to see!
She lit a small match to assist her,
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

My boy is mean kid.  I came home the other day and saw him taping worms
to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias.  Well,
only last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with
a bulls-eye on the back.

I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own."  One of them
said, "So will you."
                -- Rodney Dangerfield

My brain is my second favorite organ.
                -- Woody Allen

My brother sent me a postcard the other day with this big sattelite photo
of the entire earth on it. On the back it said: "Wish you were here".
                -- Steven Wright