Freebsd Fortunes 6

There are three ways to get something done:

        1: Do it yourself.
        2: Hire someone to do it for you.
        3: Forbid your kids to do it.

There are three ways to get something done:
do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.

There are twenty-five people left in the world,
and twenty-seven of them are hamburgers.
                -- Ed Sanders

There are two jazz musicians who are great buddies.  They hang out and play
together for years, virtually inseparable.  Unfortunately, one of them is
struck by a truck and killed.  About a week later his friend wakes up in
the middle of the night with a start because he can feel a presence in the
room.  He calls out, "Who's there?  Who's there?  What's going on?"
        "It's me -- Bob," replies a faraway voice.
        Excitedly he sits up in bed.  "Bob!  Bob!  Is that you?  Where are
you?"
        "Well," says the voice, "I'm in heaven now."
        "Heaven!  You're in heaven!  That's wonderful!  What's it like?"
        "It's great, man.  I gotta tell you, I'm jamming up here every day.
I'm playing with Bird, and 'Trane, and Count Basie drops in all the time!
Man it is smokin'!"
        "Oh, wow!" says his friend. "That sounds fantastic, tell me more,
tell me more!"
        "Let me put it this way," continues the voice.  "There's good news
and bad news.  The good news is that these guys are in top form.  I mean
I have *never* heard them sound better.  They are *wailing* up here."
        "The bad news is that God has this girlfriend that sings..."

There are two kinds of fool.  One says, "This is old, and therefore good."
And one says "This is new, and therefore better."
                -- John Brunner, "The Shockwave Rider"

There are two kinds of fool. One says, "This is old, and therefore good."
And one says, "This is new, and therefore better"
                -- John Brunner, "The Shockwave Rider"

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
                -- Lord Thomas Rober Dewar

There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
                -- Jeremy S. Anderson

There are two problems with a major hangover.  You feel
like you are going to die and you're afraid that you won't.

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -- before
marriage and after marriage.