Freebsd Fortunes 7
fortune: 1041 - 1050 of 1340 from freebsd fortunes 7
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Freebsd Fortunes 7

Fortune: 1041 - 1050 of 1340 from Freebsd Fortunes 7

Freebsd Fortunes 7:  1041 of 1340

You know very well that whether you are on page one or page thirty depends
on whether [the press] fear you.  It is just as simple as that.
                -- Richard Nixon
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  1042 of 1340

You know what I wish?  I wish all the scum of the Earth had one throat
and I had my hands about it.
                -- Rorschach, "Watchmen"
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  1043 of 1340

You know what they say -- the sweetest word in the English language
is revenge.
                -- Peter Beard
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  1044 of 1340

You know what we can be like:  See a guy and think he's cute one minute, the
next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see
him having an extramarital affair.  By the time someone says "I'd like you to
meet Cecil," we shout, "You're late again with the child support!"
                -- Cynthia Heimel, "A Girl's Guide to Chaos"
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  1045 of 1340

You know you are getting old when you think you should drive the speed limit.
                -- E.A. Gilliam
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  1046 of 1340

You know your apartment is small...
        when you can't know its position and velocity at the same time.
        you put your key in the lock and it breaks the window.
        you have to go outside to change your mind.
        you can vacuum the entire place using a single electrical outlet.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  1047 of 1340

You know you're getting old when you're Dad, and you're measuring your
daughter for camp clothes, and there are certain measurements only her
mother is allowed to take.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  1048 of 1340

You know you're in a small town when...
        You don't use turn signals because everybody knows where you're going.
        You're born on June 13 and your family receives gifts from the local
                merchants because you're the first baby of the year.
        Everyone knows whose credit is good, and whose wife isn't.
        You speak to each dog you pass, by name... and he wags his tail.
        You dial the wrong number, and talk for 15 minutes anyway.
        You write a check on the wrong bank and it covers you anyway.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  1049 of 1340

You know you're in trouble when...
1)      You wake up face down on the pavement.
2)      Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.
3)      You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes
                out of the city.
4)      Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
5)      You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then
                remember that you don't have a waterbed.
6)      Your doctor tells you you're allergic to chocolate.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  1050 of 1340

You know you're in trouble when...
1)      Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you
                follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
2)      You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party
                and there aren't any.
3)      Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
4)      The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
5)      You wake up and your braces are locked together.
6)      Your mother approves of the person you're dating.
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