Freebsd Fortunes 7
fortune: 257 - 266 of 1340 from freebsd fortunes 7
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Mar 28, 2020
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Freebsd Fortunes 7

Fortune: 257 - 266 of 1340 from Freebsd Fortunes 7

Freebsd Fortunes 7:  257 of 1340

What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  258 of 1340

What the scientists have in their briefcases is terrifying.
                -- Nikita Khruschev
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  259 of 1340

What they said:
        What they meant:

"I recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."
        (Yes, that about sums it up.)
"The amount of mathematics she knows will surprise you."
        (And I recommend not giving that school a dime...)
"I simply can't say enough good things about him."
        (What a screw-up.)
"I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine."
        (I can't tell you how happy I am that she left our firm.)
"When this person left our employ, we were quite hopeful he would go
a long way with his skills."
        (We hoped he'd go as far as possible.)
"You won't find many people like her."
        (In fact, most people can't stand being around her.)
"I cannot reccommend him too highly."
        (However, to the best of my knowledge, he has never committed a
         felony in my presence.)
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  260 of 1340

What they said:
        What they meant:

"If you knew this person as well as I know him, you would think as much
of him as I do."
        (Or as little, to phrase it slightly more accurately.)
"Her input was always critical."
        (She never had a good word to say.)
"I have no doubt about his capability to do good work."
        (And it's nonexistent.)
"This candidate would lend balance to a department like yours, which
already has so many outstanding members."
        (Unless you already have a moron.)
"His presentation to my seminar last semester was truly remarkable:
one unbelievable result after another."
        (And we didn't believe them, either.)
"She is quite uniform in her approach to any function you may assign her."
        (In fact, to life in general...)
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  261 of 1340

What they said:
        What they meant:

"You will be fortunate if you can get him to work for you."
        (We certainly never succeeded.)
There is no other employee with whom I can adequately compare him.
        (Well, our rats aren't really employees...)
"Success will never spoil him."
        (Well, at least not MUCH more.)
"One usually comes away from him with a good feeling."
        (And such a sigh of relief.)
"His dissertation is the sort of work you don't expect to see these days;
in it he has definitely demonstrated his complete capabilities."
        (And his IQ, as well.)
"He should go far."
        (The farther the better.)
"He will take full advantage of his staff."
        (He even has one of them mowing his lawn after work.)
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  262 of 1340

What they say:                          What they mean:

A major technological breakthrough...   Back to the drawing board.
Developed after years of research       Discovered by pure accident.
Project behind original schedule due    We're working on something else.
        to unforseen difficulties
Designs are within allowable limits     We made it, stretching a point or two.
Customer satisfaction is believed       So far behind schedule that they'll be
        assured                                 grateful for anything at all.
Close project coordination              We're gonna spread the blame, campers!
Test results were extremely gratifying  It works, and boy, were we surprised!
The design will be finalized...         We haven't started yet, but we've got
                                                to say something.
The entire concept has been rejected    The guy who designed it quit.
We're moving forward with a fresh       We hired three new guys, and they're
        approach                                kicking it around.
A number of different approaches...     We don't know where we're going, but
                                                we're moving.
Preliminary operational tests are       Blew up when we turned it on.
        inconclusive
Modifications are underway              We're starting over.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  263 of 1340

What they say:                  What they mean:

New                             Different colors from previous version.
All New                         Not compatible with previous version.
Exclusive                       Nobody else has documentation.
Unmatched                       Almost as good as the competition.
Design Simplicity               The company wouldn't give us any money.
Fool-proof Operation            All parameters are hard-coded.
Advanced Design                 Nobody really understands it.
Here At Last                    Didn't get it done on time.
Field Tested                    We don't have any simulators.
Years of Development            Finally got one to work.
Unprecedented Performance       Nothing ever ran this slow before.
Revolutionary                   Disk drives go 'round and 'round.
Futuristic                      Only runs on a next generation supercomputer.
No Maintenance                  Impossible to fix.
Performance Proven              Worked through Beta test.
Meets Tough Quality Standards   It compiles without errors.
Satisfaction Guaranteed         We'll send you another pack if it fails.
Stock Item                      We shipped it before and can do it again.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  264 of 1340

What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five-cent bagel.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  265 of 1340

What this country needs is a good 5 dollar plasma weapon.
 
Freebsd Fortunes 7:  266 of 1340

What this country needs is a good five cent ANYTHING!
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